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I always decide to write posts about my "feelings," that cringe-inducing word, when I am melancholy or extremely happy. But normally when I am melancholy. And sometimes I worry that people will read it and laugh at me but then I don't really care, because that's the beauty of writing on a blog into the weird space of the internet. You can write without watching your audience's reaction. You can be honest but not have the weight of other people's expectations. I suppose that is also the problem with the internet. People can feel entitled to say hurtful and unnecessary things to others because of their own insecurities and, whether it's honest or not, people read it and are hurt and the ones writing these things don't have to see their reactions and the pain they've caused. But, hopefully this completely unplanned blog post doesn't hurt anyone in particular. I don't believe it will. It may only hurt me or help me, which is sometimes the same thing.

So if you're laughing at me at this point, because of my semi-dramatic introduction, I really couldn't care less (although truth be told, that could be because I can't see you. I guess we'll never know. Unless you find me in the street and laugh in my face, but I would prefer if you didn't do that.)

I'm home. In California, perceived land of surfers, stars, and sun. In actuality, it is between 90 and 100 degrees Fahrenheit (which is between 32 and 38 degrees Celsius for everyone not in the U.S.), dry as a bone. I am very far from the ocean because California is absolutely massive, and I have yet to see a celebrity walking the streets of my suburban neighborhood (although to be fair I get the chance to see more stars than most). Everything seems the same as I left it, only different. I mean I was born in my little town in California and only had one house here so nothing changes too much. I've seen my high school friends (which are in actuality elementary school friends, the beauty of living in a suburb) and we've laughed until late in the night and went out on crazy runs to get frozen yogurt (a delicious food which I completely forgot about!). I've eaten so many cuisines I think my stomach isn't speaking to me (Japanese, Thai, Mexican, Southern, Italian, the list goes on). The beauty of living in California. I've been getting used to the crazy abundance of things we have in the U.S., the options, the amount of pure space around me, and also the tiny little bedroom I share with my sister. In some ways, the amount of space around me is both bigger and smaller than it was in Toulon. I really miss Emma who is in the U.S. but on the other side of the country, three time zones away from me and unable to call because she's in the middle of a national park. I also really miss Addie who lives in the same state but is somehow 7 hours away from me. The ridiculousness of the distance almost makes me laugh.

It is weird being back and no one can ever explain exactly what it feels like unless you've lived it before. And also it is really easy to be back. The old place feels like a dream and the new place feels normal again. And you're sad that the old place isn't as vivid as it once was. Sometimes I wonder why I have allowed myself to live in this strange moving place. Back and forth between France and California. I felt the same leaving Lyon, the same coming back, and the same thing again this year, moving back and forth from Toulon. And I am trying to leave again to France in September. What a mess. But at least, that is one thing I can always count on.

P.S. I'll post the other vacation ones eventually......hahaha

Wait....

Well, I'm officially off the clock as an English assistant here in France. My contract ended April 30th, and I've been traveling since May 6th. Don't know where the time has gone. A lot has happened since the February vacation. I never finished posting about Germany or Prague, or even wrote about my April vacations and now I have these May ones to catch you all up on. I have like 5 posts about French culture that I never finished. But that's going to have to wait a little longer. These last three weeks since the April vacation have been insanely crazy and I feel like I haven't had a second to breathe. I've been trying to breathe in a little bit of everything around me before it's too late. Somehow it's already too late.

Since the April vacation that ended the 18th-ish, I had two weeks of work, working on some stuff for my upcoming internship, numerous last dinners/lunches, goodbyes with my students, goodbyes with my colleagues and new friends, a vacation to Bordeaux and another one to Barcelona. I just feel like I've been running on a treadmill at full speed for three weeks, sleeping like I used to in college in order to get everyone and everything in. But that's okay, because the fatigue will pass.

These last few weeks I've felt really homesick, and I'm not sure why. It's not terrible but just makes me wanna go home for the first time in a while. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I know the end is near. Riding in the taxi in Bordeaux and the Bee Gees playing at 5:30 am in the bus in Barcelona makes me think of road trips with my family and dancing at the family BBQs. Also, for those of you who know Kiki, she is not doing too well and may have to be put to sleep so that's one more thing making me homesick.

I think we, the assistants, have all been readying ourselves for the move back for a while. I will miss everyone and everything. I'm a sappy sentimental, what can I say. I write little poems about Toulon. It's wiggled its way into my heart, somehow. I've been looking back at the pictures of me and other assistants throughout this year and from my first vacation with Emilia, Charlotte and Becca and from when we went to the rugby game and Australia Day when I got stuck in the bathroom. It makes me twinge a little with sadness, but then I make myself look back on it as if I am in California, through the scope of a few months. I feel myself putting it at a bit of a distance so that it is easier to say goodbye. Luckily, I still have a few brief moments left and I'm going to relish them as best I can.

I plan to write a goodbye to Toulon in my last few days here, like I did in Lyon. I'm not done with you yet Toulon! Keep reading....I promise I'll fill in all the blanks....eventually.

February Travels: Heidelberg, Germany

After our roadtrip through Southern France, I headed back to Toulon and flew out from Nice to Germany! It was my first time in Germany and I spent about four days with my good friend, Berenike who I met in my literature classes back at Lyon. She lives in Heidelberg so I flew into Frankfurt and took short train ride to Heidelberg from there. It was a long day of travel because the cheapest flight had a layover in Copenhagen (so also my first time in Denmark even if it was just the airport!). Then I had to wait for the train to arrive as well. However, it was the most calm I have ever been traveling. I don't know why or how but God calmed me the whole way through which I was very grateful for. I have a tendency to worry and get anxious when I travel (and in a lot of instances haha); for those of you who know me well, that's not a surprise. But, everything went off without a hitch and I was happy to have this long day to myself.

Long day of travel means lots of coffee

Rose pistachio mocha!

Layover in Denmark, why?

Around 11 pm I arrived in Heidelberg and was reunited with Berenike for the first time in a year!!! What a joyous occasion it is to be reunited with good friends! That evening I met her roommate, Joan, and his two friends from Majorca, Miquel and Miquel Ángelo, who were also visiting. Ermando, her boyfriend who I also met in Lyon, was also there. We were a full house but it made for a really fun weekend! After talking for a little bit and eating a little dinner, we all went to bed.


The first day we got up fairly late and ate some porridge for breakfast, Berenike, Ermando, and I. (Agh, I've been adapting French grammar in English......so I apologize). After that, Berenike and I headed into the city center. In Heidelberg, it was fairly expensive for the public transit, which surprised me, over 2 euros for one ticket. However, another thing I noticed upon entering the city center was how absolutely beautiful it was! It is exactly what you think of when you think of an old  German city. Apparently Heidelberg was not bombed during World War II, so all the older buildings that predate that are still intact (although the buildings post-date 1693 because almost all of the city was destroyed [including a lot of the castle] by the war with Louis XIV of France). Nike and I took a walk through the streets and she showed me some of the sights along the way. Afterwards, we went to the university dining hall (the mensa) along the river. Heidelberg is the oldest university in contemporary Germany founded in 1386. The dining hall was so cool. It was in a building that once housed the stables of the king. But inside, there was a huge buffet area with tons of really delicious options and it didn't cost much at all. The room was long with modern art on the walls and long wooden tables to eat at. They even had a bar! I was very impressed. For all of these reasons, it was extremely packed!

Streets of Heidelberg

Found the store with the same name as my Omi!

Delicious lunch in the uni cafeteria: the square ravioli on the left is a maultaschen and tasted like something my Omi makes

Cafeteria from the outside!

After lunch with Joan, Miquel and Miquel Ángelo, we all went up to the Philosopher's Walk, which is a path up to the mountain where many famous philosophers and teachers have walked to....well, philosophize about the world. Afterwards, we looked down on the city of Heidelberg and then went back down and swung by the library. Berenike and I went in so she could pick up some books and I was really impressed by how beautiful and yet well-organized it was. It seemed like a nice place to study. After that, we walked back to Berenike's apartment and stopped by a funky candy curiosity shop with all sorts of imported chocolates. That night, we went back out to the city to have a real German meal at a restaurant called Vetter's Alt Heidelberger Brauhaus. There Berenike, Ermando, and I split three different dishes : chicken schnitzel with friend potatoes, crunchy pork knuckle with sauerkraut and potato dumpling, and pork with potato dumpling and sauerkraut. My favorite was the schnitzel but that was probably because it was what I ate first! I also tried a drink that Berenike recommended to me: half beer, half lemonade. It was called radler and was refreshing. Afterwards, we went out to a cocktail bar for some fancy drinks and then headed home.

Touching this statue brings "luck"

Heidelberg castle in the fog

Old Bridge in Heidelberg

Walking up the Philosopher's walk!

View of Heidelberg from above

The university library: bike central!

She's pretty, ain't she?

All the books!

Schnitzel with fried potatoes

Castle by night!

Dinner with new and old friends :) 

Because they told me to....

The next day we slept in and had a "German breakfast" all together, which consisted of brötchen (bread rolls), bretzel (soft pretzels), cheese, ham, butter, and jam. I also made an egg and bacon scramble and we had some fruit for good measure. You apparently MUST eat bretzel and brötchen with butter (which is not at all the French way, but definitely how I would eat bread at home in the U.S.). I did think the buttered pretzel was strange at first but it tasted delicious. My Omi used to buy us what she called "German pretzels" from a German bakery in California, which are harder, darker, and better tasting than soft pretzels you eat at the mall. So it was cool to be eating them in Germany. After our big breakfast, we went to the Heidelberg castle and took a guided tour. I also tasted some pistachio gelato at the suggestion of Nike that was SO good. The castle was really interesting because it had been there for a long time. Frederick V, who was married to Elizabeth Stuart, the English king's daughter, lived there.

Inside one of the many churches

Martin Luther doing something here

Sadly, the sight of a massive Jewish book burning in front of the university building during WWII

Another church

Oldest remaining building in Heidelberg

Couldn't be happier to be reunited with a good friend :)

Nike being silly in front of the Hotel

One of many commemorative stones marking the homes of Jews who were taken from their homes during WWII

On our way up to the castle

Huge houses on the hills near the castle

View from the castle gardens

Happy Valentine's Day from us!

Inside the castle grounds

Sight of the old tennis courts

The hugest wine barrel ever!

A traditional German restaurant

I spent the one of the best vacations of my short life with this sweet girl! Thanks a million Nike :) 

After this, we headed back to the apartment and Ermando and I made a red/green vegetable curry for all of us. It was my first time making curry and it was really yummy and simple ! I am excited to try it at home. That evening was actually Valentine's Day so Ermando and Nike went back into the city for drinks and I hung out with the boys until they got back. Sadly, Miquel and Miquel Ángelo had to return home to Majorca because the weekend was over for them. It was really fun to meet new friends who are excited to travel and are fun to be around. We had such a fun weekend all six of us. And English was actually our common language even though I was the only native speaker in the group.

The next day Ermando had to leave as well and Nike had to study so I explored Heidelberg by myself for the morning and afternoon. I took a walk through the downtown area and looked at shops. After that, I met up with Nike and her friend Betina for lunch at a Greek restaurant. We shared a plate that had a bunch of everything: falalel, hummus, couscous, etc. It was really great. I feel like all I did was eat in Heidelberg haha! Then they headed back to the library while I went to Student Prison or the Studentenkarzer. This was a little "prison" that was used between 1778-1914 to incarcerate students of the university. Students that were too rowdy or drunkenly caroused were incarcerated there for anywhere from a few days to four weeks. There were rooms and students were allowed to attend classes as long as they didn't leave the building. It became a badge of honor to do at least one stint in the student jail. Now it is decorated in drawings, phrases, and names. Those who were in jail would often paint profiles of their friends in jail with them or funny drawings to pass the time. I was literally the only one in there which was kind of nice, except there was this creepy bird that kept flying past me and near my head.

Greek food yay!

Student prison paintings!

One of the "jail cells"

Me being a nerd

The name of one of the rooms: Royal Palace (French!)

Another room: Solitude

Another room: Villa Trall

After that, I did some more shopping, stopped in the Church of the Holy Spirit, and grabbed a plum streusel and some coffee in a cake shop. Plum streusel is something my Omi makes often so of course I had to choose it. It didn't hold a candle to hers and she told me later it was because plums aren't in season, but I think hers would be better no matter what. There I bought the specialty of Heidelberg: studentkischn (student kiss). I went back to the store named after my grandma to get a gift for my Omi and eventually wandered my way to a cafe where I got some Nutella hot chocolate and waited to meet Berenike. Clearly, I was sparing no expense on sweet stuff. Our last stop was dinner at a schnitzel restaurant. We split garlic schnitzel called "Lonely Nights" and some spaetzle. Then, we spent the evening chatting in French and wandered back home.

Inside the Church of the Holy Spirit

Plum streusel and finally coffee that tastes like home! 

Yummy!

Cutie!

Random Pippy Longstocking?

The next day we left around 10:30 for an excursion in Bavaria. Look for the next post on Würzberg.
Tschüs!